Category Archives: crucifixion

Thunderstorms and Fridays

Today, I was wide awake and feeling happy and peaceful as I drove to work.  It didn’t matter that it was 3:00 am.  I could feel my heart beating rhythmically and energy was buzzing through my body making me feel very alive and aware.  Though I always enjoy driving in the early morning darkness, I’m normally not this awake and alert. But today…today was very different.

I drove down Highway 435 with a smile on my face as I sang along to the songs that were streaming out of my stereo.  About twenty minutes later, I turned into the lot and parked the car.  I didn’t get out of my car immediately.  I sat in silence for a few minutes as I contemplated the day ahead of me.  Suddenly, I heard a beating and pounding cadence against my car.  Rain!  I sighed excitedly.  I love rain, especially when it is accompanied by thunder and lightning.  Now, I was happy to just sit still and listen to the rain beating against the roof and windshield of the car as a thunderstorm began to brew all around me.  I have never been afraid of thunderstorms.  I love hearing the thunder clattering around me.  The sizzle of lightning crackling across the sky always electrifies me.  Thunderstorms always make me feel that there is something more, that there is something bigger than what we are in this world.  I like to be reminded that there is a powerful universe all around us that supercharges our very beings and creates our destinies.  Thunderstorms also remind us that we are stronger and more powerful than we have ever imagined.  It’s empowering to know that we can weather the storms.

This morning, while I sat in quiet contemplation listening to the rain, I remember something that my mother had told me when I was about five-years-old.  When I was a child, my mother told me that whenever a storm occurred on Good Friday, it was God crying out and raging over the death of his son, Jesus Christ, who had been crucified on that day.  And it seems, ever since my mother told me this, there has been a storm on every Good Friday I have spent in my hometown of Kansas City, Kansas.  I used to love lying on the floor of our family home, staring out the large picture window in the front room as a powerful storm brewed outside on Good Friday.   I love feeling, with every slap of thunder and crack of lightning, that God is all around me.  I love to think that I can witness the complex emotions of an almighty God in every thunderstorm on a Good Friday.    I am fascinated that God can be so hurt and so angry over a moment that held such great meaning for him.  If God could rage over the memory of his son’s death, I surmise, then how incredibly great his passion must be.  I love knowing a God that is emotional and impassioned.  I love knowing a God that can care so deeply about his people that he can display all levels of emotion.

So ever since my childhood, I anxiously look forward to thunderstorms on Good Friday.  And so, today, Good Friday, April 14, 2017, I was sitting in my car in the middle of a thunderous downpour.  As the storm raged all around me, I said several words of gratitude to God and Jesus Christ for their many sacrifices to save their people.

Finally, my prayer completed, I opened my car door.  It was going to be a long run to the building because I had to park at the back of the lot.  I took a deep breath and got out of the car.  I took my first  few steps forward and suddenly  I felt overwhelmed.  The rain bouncing onto the earth released an amazing aroma that made my heart swell.  For me, the smell of rain on earth is completely intoxicating.

I didn’t want to run now.  I wanted to walk slowly in the rain and breathe in the earth.  I wanted to glory in the feel of the rain against my skin and enjoy the wonders of the universe and the dramatic emotions of a passionate God.

Finally, I walked into building and was relieved to realize that I could still hear the rain against the roof as I went about my work.  I worked hard throughout the day, but I did stop every few minutes to listen to the rain and pray as I tried to stay in a state of grace during a workday that can be usually be frustrating.  To keep myself in a sacred space, every now and then, I would wonder over to the back doors and stare outside to watch the rain fall over the ground.  On this holy day, the day of Christ’s crucifixion, the thunder, lightning, and rain kept me in a pure state of being.  Eventually, I got caught up in my work and had to stop wandering off.  But I still remained at peace

Finally, my workday ended.  I walked outside…and immediately smiled.  The afternoon was flooded with bright glorious sunshine.  Brilliant golden rays sparked out between the clouds and warmed my skin.  The rays shined down on me as if I had been kissed by angels.  And I knew that God loved the world so immensely he had given his only son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins.  And now, the glorious sunshine let me know that he had forgiven his people.  God above all knows unconditional love.  No matter what we do he will never forsake us.  The occasion reminded me of God’s great passion and love for his people.  God rages and then forgives…and always, above all, he forever loves.  This is what the entire season of Easter is all about.   Sacrifice, rain, fear, storms, guilt, lightning, sunshine, love, warmth, peace…forgiveness.  God’s emotions are on display.  He is one of us—dramatic and emotional and passionate.  But so far above us with his kindness, forgiveness, and compassion.  And above all, God’s storms continually demonstrate his immense love for his people even though we are far from perfect.  We are forever in his grace.

This is why I love thunderstorms…especially on Good Friday.




Past Life Regression

I have always believed that the purpose of life is to learn lesson about love and the universe so that we as people can become more Godlike.  However, one life is not enough time to learn all of the lessons we need to know to better our souls.  As a result, I am a strong believer in reincarnation.  So, when I had an opportunity to learn more about past life regressions, I was deeply interested.  I had never tried regression therapy before and was extremely curious.

Last summer, I sat in the audience at the Hay House I Can Do It! conference in Austin, Texas.  I was excited to see Dr. Brian Weiss’s presentation.  Dr. Weiss is a psychologist and hypnotherapist who specializes in past life regressions.  I was familiar with Brian’s work.  I had read his books on past life regressions, including Many Lives Many Masters, Messages from the Masters, and Only Love is Real.

I was intrigued from the moment Dr. Weiss came onstage and began to talk about his background.  Dr. Weiss explained how he became involved in past life regressions.  He was extremely low key and spoke in a smooth, quiet, almost monotone voice.  Yet, his warmth, humor, and conviction held my interest.  I hung on his every word and wanted to know more.

After his short lecture, Dr. Weiss explained that instead of bringing individual people up on stage for a regression, he was going to attempt to take the whole audience through the procedure.  I was thrilled; I really wanted to try a regression, but didn’t really know if I could relax enough to be hypnotized with so many people around.  I decided to try anyway because I really wanted to do this.  I really wanted to experience what a regression was like.

Dr. Weiss began by telling the audience that he would be taking us through three different stages: childhood, in-utero, and past life.  He instructed us to view our lives playing out in our minds like a movie. Okay, I think I can do this.

Dr. Weiss then told us to close our eyes and he was going to guide us to a childhood memory first.  I laid my head back on the seat, breathed deeply, and let myself completely relax.  I cleared my mind of everything but Dr. Weiss’s voice.

Suddenly a scene popped into my head.  I saw a farmhouse in the middle of an open field.  There was nothing else around.  I could just see a small, white house in a field of waving wheat.  The paint on the house looked fresh and the grounds and fields were very well-kept.  However, I found my focus centering on the picture window that was next to the front door of the house.  I was fascinated because there were wasps flying around the screen on the window.  I don’t know why this took my attention.  I don’t know what it could possibly mean, but I was completely focused on the wasps that buzzed around the window.  I just knew that this scene of the farmhouse out in a field was from the 1950s, which is a decade before I was born.  I don’t know why I was seeing it so vividly.  It certainly wasn’t a part of my childhood.  I knew within myself that it was a past life.

Suddenly, I heard Dr. Weiss say, “I’m going to take you back in-utero now.”  I suddenly sat up a little in my seat.  Oh my gosh, I thought, I did it wrong!  I already went to a past life!  The farmhouse was not my childhood.  I had gone too far back already. Have I completely messed up my opportunity now to experience more?

I put aside my anxieties and desperately concentrated on Dr. Weiss’s voice.  Okay.  I am in-utero.

And suddenly the most amazing feeling came over me.  I started to cry.  I knew right then that my mother didn’t want me.  My mom was completely stressed and upset about her pregnancy with me.  But then I suddenly understood something.  My mother has always loved me.  She did want me; she was upset because I was her third baby in three years.  I could feel her stress and desperation as she realized she was now  further tied to my father.  There would be no escape.  I started to cry as I felt my mother’s anxiety.  I tried to pull myself out of the moment, but the feeling was just too deep.  The emotion was too strong.  I didn’t have the strength to pull myself away.

Finally, Dr. Weiss’s voice broke the connection.  Dr. Weiss announced that he was now taking us back to a past life.  “Now, look down at your feet,” Dr. Weiss directed.  “What kind of footwear are you wearing?”  I obeyed Dr. Weiss’s command, but saw something completely different than my white, long, narrow feet.  Instead, my skin was dark, my feet were wide, and I was wearing rope sandals!

Oh, my gosh!  Dr. Weiss’s directed the audience to now look up at the people around us.   I looked up and immediately caught my breath.  Directly in front of me was the gentle, kind face of the Virgin Mary.  Oh, my gosh, I was with Mary!  She was laughing and talking to me, and I believed that she was my sister or cousin.  We were very close.  Then the scene changed and I saw myself walking with Jesus as I listened to his words. The last scene suddenly caused me to burst into tears.  I witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  I was standing next to Mother Mary looking up at Jesus on the cross.  I was physically in real time crying deep sobs now as I gazed upon the scene.

However, I was suddenly pulled away from the image of Christ on the cross by the deep cries of a young woman sitting in the seat next to me.  The woman began to shake back and forth as huge sobs wracked her body.  I pulled a small packet of Kleenex from my bag, pulled free a tissue, and handed it to her.  She wiped her eyes while I patted her back.  Suddenly, I found the young woman in my arms as we both cried for several minutes.  I was so involved with the emotion, I hadn’t realized Dr. Weiss had ended his presentation and walked off the stage.  The young woman and I slowly calmed down and then started to laugh.  After a few moments of sharing our experiences, we said good-bye to each other and left the theater.

I felt refreshed and renewed.  I felt strong and capable.  I felt Jesus Christ walking by my side.  Now, I can’t honestly say that the experience was real.  Maybe the scenes with Mary and Jesus were nothing more than a reflection of my growing faith.  My faith in Jesus Christ has increased tenfold over the last few years.  He is my hope, my savior, and my best friend.  Was I actually at the crucifixion?  I don’t know.  But I do know this: I am forever connected to Jesus Christ and his many blessings.